Confession of a Twenty-One Year Old Zombie: A mildly comedic approach to the issue of manic depression.

Zombies have been rising to the top of the film charts and the movies about them have been coming out constantly. We have “The Walking Dead”, “Zombieland”, and a few others that I am not sure of at this particular time. We have seen them kill and pillage and destroy. We are a little confused by these demented creatures and I would like to voice the opinion that they may be a little less different than me. They could have giant hearts, but it is behind the want and craving for someone else’s heart.

  1. Repulsive: I will push you a way like a zombie because of my actions. Perhaps I hurt your feelings, and maybe a lot of the times I have lied. I thought I was saving everybody from knowing the person I truly was deep down inside of me. Zombies repulse people and I am pretty sure mental health does to. Mental health has a stigma attached to it. Occasionally you will not talk about it unless it was brought up. Imagine you are at a potluck with your church or some other odd little community and you bring your dish up to the table to share. Brain stuffed samosas. You set it down and this other sweet lady asks you how you are doing. Do you A. tell her what is going on and risk rejection and vulnerability or B. you completely lie to her so she does not have to share that burden with you.
  2. Loss of Control: I have had days where I want to yell and scream and punch things square in the nose. Not because I am angry at you, but because I am frustrated that I cannot just deal with myself and the emotions within me. Just like when Zombies loose all control and just want to eat your brains and whatever else is tasty. Meanwhile you are falling apart and all of your rottenness is then seen. They mistake it as the way you are rather than a byproduct of the way your brain is currently working.
  3. Unintentional Scare Factor: Our poor little friends are not doing anything, but responding to what is going on. They have this little bug or virus I am not sure what vein this disease falls into. Yet they have something going on. They are trying to figure themselves out and you are just standing there freaked the hell out because why is this normal human now wanting to repulse you and then lose their mind on you?
  4. Dead: So they are dead to the eyes right? They look all gross and they are rotting. The only problem is with me you cannot see me rotting. You can not examine my brain and feel the feelings that I have. You can try to love me back to life or get my drugs right and that may work. But the problem is what has already been done is done. The damage is there and the recovery road is long. Who wants to cure a zombie, nobody because who would write a horror show with happy freaking ending? I guess I am right now. I want this horror show to end, and I want my damn life back.

So these are your reasons why being the way I am make me similar to a zombie, I hope you found this mildly comedic. I wonder why clowns do not cry, its probably because they are trying to put on that big dumb face to make everyone else happy. Yet I found out that when you really show who you are and you are no longer a misunderstood zombie, people can love you back to life. That is all the poor zombie wants to be loved, so they target the organs that produce that the heart and brains.

Love and Light,

M

 

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Categories: Christian, Encouragement, girls, Hope, Love, mental health, Missionary, Poetry, relationships, Truth, Uncategorized, womanhood, WorldTags: , , ,

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