“Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:8
I have been living chained to the idea that if what I want pleases me then I should do that very thing. I am have struggled with this for a very long time and have been caught in the middle of a flesh and Spirit battle. As I read this passage in Galatians it really hit me, if I claim to be a Christian I should fight against my flesh not give in. This thing I struggled with was body image. I wanted to be that skinny little model that you saw on the runway or in the fashion magazines. I would look at myself in the mirror and imagine all of the imperfections being gone, then say “I will be worth more when I am thin.” I had the mentality that the closer I got to being a skeleton the better I was doing with control.
Seems like something that would have hit me sooner, but know I was too consumed in what others thought of me to bear the idea of changing. It affected the person I was and depleted my joy. I felt like hiding everything from the way I felt to the actions I took to control myself. I still feel like this every day. I constantly battle myself with how I look.
As time went on I began to have the root of these heart issues being dug up by people like my sister who in her criticism brought to light a lot of the sin I was entangled in. I am thankful for brothers and sisters in Christ who know that I am approachable and can handle the idea of being helped and lead back to the path Christ wanted for me. I was able to open my life up to them and the concept of being fully known really resonated with me, because I didn’t want to be fully known it was a scary idea that meant vulnerability. Yet through that I was able to grow into a deeper relationship with Christ.
When I began to understand the Spiritual life that I was meant to live I noticed a change in myself, I no longer was joyless but I was glad in the fact that I had security in Christ. I wanted to please Jesus and that is what gave me the strength to run to him in times of temptation, or even when I felt enslaved.